There.

I did it.

I stood up for myself, my friends, and for what I knew you used to be.

I'm sorry it had to be over a stupid thing, but it was a "last straw" kind of thing.
Do I regret it? No.
Even a little? No. Maybe a little, but someone had to stand up to you.

I am not going to say sorry for something I did not do.
No matter how much you want me to say it.

Straws

Talking about the phrase "the last straw" in health class today.

All the little things, the glares, the hits, the heavy sighs when I enter a room or a conversation,  friends joking how no one loves me, the embarrassing stories told about me, the snide remarks.

I'm going to snap, I just don't know when...

Thank you.

They were making fun,
Saying I was a guy,
Always wearing sweatpants and playing video games.
They said they would never date a girl that was one of the guys.

You stood up for me.
I had only talked to you twice.

I don't see how you could defend me
When they, my friends since forever, wouldn't.

Thank you.

BFF?

I always give you advice when you ask "Should I go out with him or that other guy?",
I comfort you when you guys break up,
and I even listen to all the drama that you're involved with.

But when I try to bring up my past, my feelings, my stories, how I hurt: you change the subject.

I tried to tell you about my depression, about how I thought of self-harming, how I felt. The conversation just went back to you.

I'm there when you need me, but where are you?

Great friends, huh? Yeah sure...

Please.

Please stop making jokes, poking fun, and messing with me.

I realize that you're kidding,
And you always take it back.
But it still hurts, the hurt lingers long after you are gone.
I'm terrified that you'll bring it up, I'm scared to think that you're no longer my friend.

So, please notice how I cringe when you bring that up.
Please stop.

I'm begging you...

Who's awesome?

Different.

I've been hanging around you a lot,
you're cool and fairly nice.
But, today I found out you're using me to get him.
I'm just an item to you.

I also realized that I've become like you,
I text like you, talk like you,
I never swore,
I never talked behind other peoples' backs.
I've become someone I'm not, someone I don't like, someone that is using me.

And it's eating me up inside...